Whenever I want you...

Last night I dreamt about Richard again.

This is the first time since I sent the letter. In my dream there was a wedding at my house and he attended it with Amy. I, of course, was being weird and obvious about my feelings. So much so that I missed taking part in the wedding. In the end Richard spoke to me but there was this air of toleration. I felt like a pathetic mess.

I wonder if he has the letter? I hoped he ripped it up instantly.

Beer must lubricate the imagination. My dreams were epic tales last night.

The characters in my dreams were all linked with one another and the story jumped from person to person as they interacted. Strangely, I knew that it was a story. I think I was a movie producer but at the same time I was part of the story. The story began at my home in Walgett and concluded in a mental institution in the mountains. There were people I knew personally, movie stars, musicians and TV actors.

At first the story was about me persuading my family to do something. I was organising something whilst there was some sort of gathering at my house. There was a mixture of people I knew in reality and then those from the TV. Oh yeah and Bjork was in my dream.

One stage I was hiding in my parents ensuite with some random guy working out all the details of our plot. Next I was making out with a movie star, I think it was Hayden Christiansen...or some shit. Oh yeah Johnny Depp was there too, which is weird. I don't even have a crush on him!

Craziness was happening everywhere and the more people the story passed through the crazier it became. At one stage I was with my brother and I was picking out cars. But as there was some stupid law in Australia I could only have one type of car. A shit brown Ford Falcon. Then just as I was about to chose which one a new law was passed and metallic blue Holden Kingswoods were allowed on the road. I, of course, chose the blue Kingswood but then my difficulties lay in making sure the upholstery on the one I picked was good. They were flowing past me as if on a conveyer belt so I could only look in quickly as they passed. Some seats were cracked and horrible but others were really nice. In the end I didnt end up getting one and me and some other random jumped in my brothers car and drove away and had a car accident.

At some stage my parents and a whole bunch of people were gathering around outside the workshop at home watching the sky. Something ominous was happening.

Then we were trekking through the mountains. Some guy was giving us the challenges to climb the highest mountains. They were difficult looking but I could always see a path up to the top. Then for some dramatic tension there was a murder. Tess from McLeods Daughters was murdered by Claire from McLeods Daughters. There was a chase and some guy almost killed us before we escaped in a car. I guess it was a film, because I kept replaying everything. I must have been stuffing up all the time cause I had this feeling that I was really evil.

Then my brothers and I got chased up a mountain when we came upon a community. We passed through the outskirts and as we did I realised that this was the finale of the movie, the reason for everything so my brain generated an insane insulym. We kind of walked past it to an abandoned kiddie park but I convinced my brothers to head back to the asulym, and just as we were about to enter, I woke up.

Crazy, epic dream. At one stage I knew everything that had happened and the link between all the characters but by the time I woke up I had forgotten it all. I am sure I am going to dream me a masterpiece!!!

Dreams are crazy. Coming from my brain they just get crazier and crazier.

I was part of a group on an adventure, in search of something. At first I was searching through Sydney to get to the meeting point. Running through parks and up slopes, through gardens and through schools. The people who were part of the competition were on edge and aware of each other and there was this girl who I know that I don't really get along with. The dream followed the path of our journey as we faced tasks and people left. I got into some fisticuffs with the girl I knew, my friend had a lesbian experience and I hid in a toilet to watch my rivals. It was really strange and then at the end of the competition I went back to my house in the city. It actually was really nice. It was hardwood floors, and a nice paintwork and a backyard. Everything in a house in the city I would need to survive in city. My parents came and visited me and helped me move.

Such a boring dream but confusing and crazy at the same time.

The night before I had a dream I was Johnny Depp's mistress. He held my hand and everything, that was cool. Once again, I got in a fight with a girl I knew from school when she criticised me for being Johnny's mistress. In the end Johnny ended up leaving his girlfriend thingy and was out with another girl when I saw him and he chose me! At the I was at a stadium and I was desperately trying to avoid Sandra Bullock who was working out on a treadmill. I must have eaten something crazy before that sleep!

Welcome to my brain. Here I will post the craziness my brain creates in the forms of dreams. Most of them are so amazingly bizarre and out of left field that even I struggle to grasp the concepts of where they must have sprung from. I am certain an amazing movie could be created from one such dream so from here on in I am writing them all down as I can. Of course this is not the sole purpose of the creation of this journal. Purging is an excellent method of relief so I am coming here to get it all out. Holding onto that level of craziness is just too much for any soul.

LAST NIGHT/THIS MORNING (24/6/07-25/6/07)
Along with crazy randomness, I remember parts of a house my parents and I were looking through.
The majority of the dream took place at Walgett/Burren district where I grew up. In the dream I was the me I am now but everyone was how I remembered from my last year of primary school in 1995. For some reason I was a teacher, a colonial teacher and I had a chinese teachers aide. It was our job to make house calls to the homes of school aged children in wet weather. We went along the Kamilaroi Highway, that has been tarred for about 15 years but it the dream was black dirt. The road was ripped to shreds with tracks that looked like tractors had driven through. The first house we had to stop at was the Simsausers. Katey and Johnny were EXACTLY as I remembered them from school. Katey even hated me like she did back then. I knew it was weird that I was now her teacher and it freaked me out a bit. We went down their driveway to their house, which I have never been to in real life. As soon as we got there it suddenly occured to me that I would be looking after Andrew Marshall and Katey. Mrs Marshall and Mrs Simsauser were there and they were discussing me and looking me up and down. This has happened to me with them so meh, no biggie. They were very stern to me and told me to watch them until they got back. The kids disappeared and I was left in the kitchen trying to organise some food for them. I made them sandwiches for lunch. Suddenly it was night and the adults still weren't bad. I was on edge, like extreme edge and was searching for something to make the kids but there was nothing! In the end I decided to make them chips so I got them out then had to search for a baking tray to put them in. Then I had to chose between the old fashioned wood fire oven or the new gas oven. I chose the old fashioned oven and put the chips in and had to work out how to cook on it. I ended up turning the element up so high it grew bright blue and starting dripping smelted metal! Once I had that undercontrol I had to fight with the doors of the fridge and freezer, they kept opening by themselves. Then I woke up.

The majority of the dream I was in a panicked state, trying to achieve something and searching for things. It was horrible and I woke up hating Mrs Marshall because I could feel her constant disapproval hanging over me! Which sucks cause I am related to her, distantly and by marriage but related all the same. I guess I'll have to avoid sucker punching her next time I see her.